Not So Average
by Thaigher Lillie
Summary: Bella Is a plus sized girl determined to change how she feels about herself. But after a prank gone wrong at a college party will anyone care to help Bella pick up the pieces of Herself again? Will Bella ever recover her self esteem? Strong themes!
1. Prologue: What did you do Rosalie?

**So it's understood. This is not the same plot or direction i was headed with not so average. This is a different plot, but it makes more sense to take this route, trust me. Same shit applies. Bella is plus-sized, and has tons of issues that you guys will be able to relate too. It's still a one of a kind story, at least in this version you'll experience why she is the way she is. **

**If you're offended by Hazing, Bulimia, Sex,teasing, child abuse, Negligance, suicidal thoughts, Mind fuckery or angst. Bye. Everyone else, give it a chance, I love you all who'll stick with me, reviews get teasers individually. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight Stephanie M does, If i did Edward's sparkly ass would be running around that meadow butt-naked!**

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**Prologue:** **_What Did You Do Rosalie?_**

"Count."

"55,"she cried out, as the tears pour out of her bloodshot eyes.

Her hair was disheveled and she could feel the pain in her finger tips, but she wouldn't quit. She didn't quit when it hurt before, and she won't quit now. The pain in her lower abdomen had taken a sharp turn, but she ignored it. It felt as if someone was taking a knife to her backside, but she put on a iron, blank mask, and hid her hurt.

Fifty five hits from the 2 x 4 from both men and women and she was still standing. She was proud of herself, but she didn't know that her body wouldn't be able to take more. It was slowly but surely failing her. Drop by drop, her body began to show the signs of failure.

No one knew her body wouldn't be able to take another round of wood

. The room was so dark, no one noticed the small spot on the back of her jeans.

"She's taking this like a champ," some-one said, proudly.

"Not for long," another person sneered.

Before anyone could say a word, a blonde picked up the long, large, piece of decorated lumber, and pulled it in the air, preparing for the strike that would knock the freshmen out cold.

"I won't let her stand for much longer, everyone breaks, Isabella, will be no exception. Isn't that right you disgusting fat bitch?" she shouted.

"Yes, Ma'am," she said, as she began to feel faint. Her vision was doubling and it didn't take long for someone to see her body sway slightly.

"Say something Bella, say something," her line sister pleaded softly, but there was no response.

"Did I tell you to talk?" Rosalie screamed.

Slap!

A stiff hard blow landed on the back of the girl's neck. Her head jerked forward so fast she lost her balance and broke the cut.

Her position shifted, her arm fell down and she slumped to the ground on one knee, trying her best to catch her breathe after having it knocked out of her by a large powerful hand.

It felt as if someone slammed a brick right onto Lauren's neck. But she would take that and more if it meant they left Bella alone. Her good intentions, had caused harsh consequences. The necking she just received was only the bit of it.

Tyler tied a blind fold over Bella's eyes, and walked over to Lauren, pulling her up to her shaky feet.

He pulled the back of her shirt up and lifted it so it covered the top portion over Lauren's head.

He caressed her side and she whimpered in discomfort.

"Stop!" a strong voice commanded. "We don't do shit like that Tyler, stop it."

Tyler let out a low growl in the direction the command came from, but obliged. He rubbed the sides of her body with his hands softly, as if the situation were innocent.

He chuckled as Lauren continued to tremble, knowing what was coming next.

"Relax baby," he cooed. "This will only hurt for a second," he said, as he pulled his massive hand back and slapped the skin underneath her ribs.

Her body shook and she tried her best to be quiet for Bella. She didn't want her to blame herself. But Tyler was intent on making her break.

He hit her harder and harder until her legs buckled under her and she groaned. He didn't bother to pick her up, he just followed her down and continued his attack on her sides.

Bella could hear the loud slaps and groans echoing across the room but she couldn't dwell on it.

She had her own pain to deal with. She could feel the muscle in her lower stomach contract and she was on the verge of passing out.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body shifted her weight forward, causing her to stumble a bit.

"All I ask is that you don't move, and you can't even do that. With all of that weight, you'd think you'd be more grounded," Rosalie spat.

She grabbed Bella by the shoulder and situated her back into the right position. The move quickly brought Bella back to the present.

"This little piggy went to market," Rosalie sang as she swung the wood so hard it connected with Bella's body with a loud snap.

Bella stayed put, earning cheers from around the apartment for her determination.

Rosalie was none too happy.

Rosalie swung hard, once,

Twice.

Thrice.

And that's when it happened.

Everything seemed to go into slow motion.

The wood slowly connected with Bella's behind again and her body went stiff.

The blood drain from her face, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and her body convulse as she unconsciously expelled contents from her belly.

The smell hit everyone in the room as they collectively gasped at the site of blood and vomit on the white carpeted floor and furniture.

Fear soon turned into panic, as Bella's body fell torso first, onto a glass table covered by her bloody bile.

The table cracked and broke under her weight, eliciting more harm to her fragile body from the cut glass.

Darkness and pain overtook her, and even though she was strong by spirit, the weariness of hunger, the pain of the tighten ups, the harsh bite of the board, all caught up with her. It only took that one last staggering hit, to bring everything down on her in that instant.

Her body was traumatized and beaten. It simply could go on no longer. Her body had shut down right in the middle, of a hazing initiation.

Screams and curses erupted as everyone rushed to help her. Tyler had let go of Lauren to see what the hell was going on. Lauren weakly turned around and stifled a sob, as she saw Rosalie standing slack jawed, wide eye, and frightened, with her eyes locked on the fresh blood on the 2 x 4.

"Rosalie….What have you done?"…..

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**Yikes. Didn't expect that right? well we have a ways to go to actually get to that point. First chapter update, is up to you. you leave me love (reviews) I give you love (chapters) capiche?**

**Now that that is out of the way. To those who I have irritated by re-starting this story, sorry. It was for the best. I'm happy writing it now that it's organized and has a SOLID SENSIBLE PLOT.**

**Nuff excuses. you want a teaser? you want to rant at me for changing this? You just wanna be my friend? You just wanna fan-girl on me? add me on karebear8706 and thaigher lillie on face book. Have any questions? Just ask. Hope you enjoy this. I have a new story on TWCS, called living amongst hell, with my co-writer, i belong to a vampire. Check it out!**


	2. Somewhere I can be myself

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, Stephanie M does. If i did i swear i'd have Edward's sparkly ass running around that meadow naked as the day he was born. He'd give sparkling peen a new meaning! *wriggles eyebrows***

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Chapter Title:** (Somewhere I can Be Myself)******

Isabella.

" Oh come on Rene, She's been on a diet for 4 months. Let up on her a little bit."

"Well it didn't changed anything. Our Isabella is still as round as a little beach ball. I hope it changes a bit when she see's how small those girls are in college," my mom said to my aunt, as she patted the roundest part of my body.

I listened to them laugh and chuckle around the dinner table at my mom's lame attempt at telling me I needed to lose weight. For some reason, anything said about me during dinner was some big hilarious joke. A joke I was never let in on. Not once did I ever crack a smile when they aimed their jokes at me. Matter of fact, it had the opposite effect. My frown never turned upside down in their presence. They created so much drama that when ever they'd come over for dinner, a scowl permanently plasters on my face until they leave. I can only deal with them for so long until I can't take it anymore and I snap. When that happens, my smart ass mouth usually reveal it's ugly head..

When I get a bit mouthy from embarrassment, they'd say, "Oh Isabella, lighten up." or " It's only a joke." or my favorite, "Shut your fucking mouth or you're grounded." Internally I roll my eyes at the thought. Looking around the table, seeing their eyes twinkling with laugher or their huge teeth grinning at me only made me sick.

It was really starting to piss me off that some of them expected me to laugh. They were ridiculous. There they were, with their big wide mouths laughing, and spewing jokes as if I didn't have feelings, as if I was nothing. Who would laugh in a situation like this? I understand the saying 'you've got to laugh at yourself, sometimes.' but this wasn't the time or place. Every single dinner my mom threw, the conversation always revolved around my weight and it hurt. Pricks…..

Don't be fooled, you're probably thinking, "…You're family's fucked up…" which they are, but you don't' get what they are doing. I do.

They use the jokes as a façade, almost like subliminal messages, urging me to lose weight. It never works though. The jokes accomplished absolutely nothing but making me want to leave the table as fast as I could to get away from them. Nothing I ever did seemed to appease them, or ease the jokes off of me. Good grade conversations that were brought up always ended in " Her grades are wonderful, but she's so big, when are you going to put her on another diet Renee?" Usually after a conversation along those lines, I would end up with an earful from my mother. Angry again because someone blamed her for my size.

I had a feeling they felt that I was big because I was lazy or that my mom didn't care. My uncle even thinks I had control over how I looked. He told me once that the McDonalds would kill me if I didn't stop. Too bad, the last time I ate McDonalds was when I was 4.….

What they didn't realize was that I've tried everything to lose weight: dieting, exercise, liquid diets. I've tried them all, but of course nothing works if you're depressed. Regression has been my friend for the pass few weeks. If I start feeling too good about myself or something seems to be working, there was always a bomb of "kicking me down" waiting in the wings. That bomb is the epitome of my depression. That bomb is my mother…

Loud laughter brought me out of my musings and I decided to take two bites before someone had anything else to say.

I took my fork and dug up a bit of mashed potatoes when I heard Rene's voice across the table.

"Isabella, you don't need to put all that food on one fork, it's not going anywhere honey. Take your time and chew your food," she scolded, as she flashed those vicious pearly whites towards me.

"Oh Rene, leave the girl alone and let her eat, it's not that bad," my grandma said, coming to my rescue.

She gave me a wink and continued to eat her food. But if I knew Rene', she wouldn't back down without a fight.

"Well unlike you mom, I have to worry about Isabella's weight, I don't want her to die from being fat. It's just not healthy. She's too young to have a heart attack. You didn't have to worry about those things. You barely fed us!" she said, as she laughed at her own joke.

I was a little too disgusted to sit down and listen to her talk so I blocked out the rest of the conversation. I placed my dirty knife on her expensive napkins as payback for her little verbal stunt. I could see her glaring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I knew she wouldn't say a word, at least while we had guest here. A small victory smirk graced my face as I brought the water flute up to my lips. As sipped I notice how over decorated the area was.

The cherry wood dining table were decorated with red and gold decorative. There was a red table runner right down the middle, with an elaborate center piece placed right in the middle of the table. It was hideous. It was a cream and gold colored vase with wildflowers and roses. There were gold plate runners with red over-priced napkins stuffed through brown ringed napkin holders. The utensils were gold plated and the glass flutes had golden rims. My mother had went all out this dinner to impress our guest, but pretty setups couldn't hide the person who she truly was.

Behind those smiles she flashed, was the real her. The her that ate out of paper plates. The her that put a chain and lock on the fridge door when I was 8, while her and my father ate take out, leaving me with a stick of celery for dinner.

That was the woman I knew. This one, sitting at the head of the table, was a vast difference to the one I've lived with for 17 years.

It angered me a little to see her so relaxed with them and picturing how angry she always is at me.

I cleared my head, because a scene was the last thing I wanted to cause. I started eating in really small bites, to appease my mother, but it seems all I did was make her angry.

"Isabella, I think you've had enough."

"What?"

"I said I think you've had enough," she said, as she smiled wickedly sweet. I felt anger course through my veins and tears sprang to my eyes. I hesitated for a second and heard Charlie to the left of me say, "You heard your mother."

"Leave the plate on the island, I'll get the dishes," she called out.

I lowered my head and pushed the chair back, getting up and grabbing my plate. I walked into the kitchen and place the almost full plate on the island. I knew why she wanted it here. She wanted to make sure I didn't eat any more of it. I sighed at how childish she was. It seemed as if I was brought into the world just for her to bully me.

I wiped the fresh tears spilling down my face and hurried to my room. Even though I was no longer a child, I still lived under their roof. I had to abide by them. There was no choice but to let what they say go through one ear and out the other. I had no where else to go and I'm only 17, there's not much I can do.

I crawled into my bed and pulled the pink and green comforter around my body. I curled into a ball, rubbing my stomach as it growled violently. Had I been anyone else, someone not so self conscious, or someone with a better self esteem; maybe I would've left to go get dinner. But I'm not, I want to lose weight. I'm almost desperate to lose it. Sometimes I think if I were smaller, then maybe things would 't be so bad…Maybe they'd be different. I shrugged and the idea and placed my headphones on my ears.

I slowly drifted off to sleep listening to the sounds of Coldplay on the radio. If I had no where. My room would always be my sanctuary…..

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Later on that evening…

I felt a cold draft of air as my comforter was yanked away from my body.

"Get your fat, lazy ass in there and wash those fucking dishes," she bellowed as I squinted up at her.

"Now!" she yelled.

I hurried up and got out the bed and stumbled and bumped my way into a wall, trying to make it to the kitchen.

"So fucking stupid." I heard her say, as I made my way to the sink.

Blurry eyed, dizzy and all, I started to do the dishes she demanded me to do.

I could feel her presence behind me. She made me so nervous when she stood behind me watching me like a hawk. I didn't need anyone to sit down and watch me while I did the dishes. I was getting so irritated that I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and before I knew it a glass had slipped from my hand.

One of her gold-rimmed flute glasses broke with a clash in the sink. She didn't even give it a second to sink in before she started shrieking at me.

"Do you know how much that cost me? Are you that stupid? My God, you can't even handle washing dishes. I bet if it was a sandwich you wouldn't have problems holding that would you? Or a can of Sprite. Anything you can stuff in your mouth is safe in those butterfingers isn't it?" she sneered in my left ear.

She was too close to me and I could smell a little bit of liquor on her breath. I decided to keep quiet and clean up the mess and let her talk. No matter how much it hurt. I knew it could only get worse if I opened my mouth.

She moved from behind me, and pushed me over slightly. She grabbed a glass and started demonstrating how to gently clean the flute glass . She dipped the glass in the water and looked at it strangely before looking at me and throwing the water into my face.

"That's how the fuck you clean a glass," she said, as she turned her nose up at me.

She walked out of the kitchen leaving me wet faced and in tears, hollering on her way out,

"I want my kitchen clean before I wake up."

My body shook with sobs as I grabbed a few paper towels to clean up the spilled water on the floor, and the dish water and tears from my face.

I had one week left to go. Only one week and I would be rid of this hell hole and on my way to college. The further I was away from my parents. The better….

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**Remember what I said guys, In this fic, you'll get to see a little bit of what Home life is like for Bella. Also this is fiction, so none of that crap about what you would've done. I don't care about what you would've done. This is Bella's story. Not yours.I know it's harsh but so is life. Not everybody is blessed to have caring mothers. The way Rene is treating Bella, I hate to tell ya'll, but there's no reason. Some ppl just have issues. For those previous readers who reviewed this story. you won't be able to review again. so here is what you can do. Anon reviews. If that doesn't work...would you rather I delete this and start all over? you'd lose the alerts and have to re-do it. If you guys think it's best, then i'll do it. **

**Ok reviews make me smile. Y'all know what to do. Wanna talk to bella? Add her on twitter poisonedbells . Wanna talk to me? add me on twitter karebear8706 and facebook- Thaigher lillie**

**Hope to talk to ya'll soon. Reviews will get teasers for chapter 2.**


	3. Somewhere I rather be

**Chapter Song: blue October- Dirt room.**

**Bella P.O.V: 6 days from the first chapter. Friday night 11:00pm**

My nerves were in a bundle as I wore a hole into my pink carpet, from pacing back and forth in my room. I was nervous, and scared, yet I was practically bouncing with excitement; if any of that made sense. The smile hadn't left my face since I opened the letter from The University of Washington, that held my housing confirmation. To say I'm ecstatic was an understatement. I got that letter on Monday and had barely put it down since. To my amazement, and my parent's, I actually finished packing my things that same Monday evening. I locked myself in my room, pulled out a few suit cases and bins, and packed more needs than my wants. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to call my parents for anything in my room. It was my sanctuary, and neither one of them were allowed in. It may sound stupid, but if you had to hear Renee's mouth all day long, you'd be eager to get away and have a sanctuary as well. Through-out the week, I had to endure nagging, vague comments, and the occasional phrase, "You may not make it down there." But any negativity coming from out of Renee's or Charlie's mouth had gone through one ear and out the other once I got word that Angela, my best friend, was also accepted to the university as well. We were both ecstatic that we were able to attend college together. Having someone familiar to talk to when I was at school was going to be a huge relief. She'll be my rock, when things get tough and vice versa. Since Angela was accepted so late, we wouldn't be rooming together, but in my opinion, it might be a good thing to meet new people and not depend on each other's presence as much.

Throughout the week, Angela and I went school supply and dorm shopping. I was only given the minimal amount of 200$ to buy my supplies and necessities. Fortunately, with the money I had saved up from years of chores, allowances, inheritance, and the money Angela's church help raised for me that I hid from my parents, I had enough to buy what I wanted also. I know it may sound a little shady to hid money from my parents. But for some reason I didn't want them to know I currently had 36,000$ in cash under my bed. That was my money and odd enough, I wanted to keep it that way.

I don't want to make it seem as if my parents would rob me, but I know they would guilt trip and use me, if they found out I had more than 100$ to my name. It doesn't sound like something a parent might do, but you haven't met nor lived with either of them. Even-though Charlie had a great job, he was an addict. He live for the thrill of taking risk, he got his high off of stakes; he was a gambler. It was many times that my mother and I went without lights and water, waiting for him to come up with the cash to pay the bills. I know, by now your thinking, "If you had all of that money why didn't you help?" Ask yourself this question, 'Since when is it a child's responsibility to provide for an addict?'

Just in case you were wondering, Renee does have a job, she's the kindergarten teacher at Fork's elementary, if you're asking does she pay for anything, the answer is no, don't believe me? Here's your proof. The light in my room flickered for a moment before it cut out completely. The mechanical whirls and noise from the various electronics in the house wound down to a stop. I let out a hard breath as I walked out of room headed towards the stairs leading into the living room. It was pitch black, and I had to rely on my memory to keep me from hurting myself and anyone else in the house that may be closer to me.

I paced myself, holding on to the stair rail, as I went down the stairs, calling out to see if anyone was near.

"Mom.? Dad?" I called out, as I heard my mother grunting in the kitchen.

"Just stay where you are until I find candles, they have to be around somewhere," she called out, as I saw the faint glow of the flash light bob and weave around the kitchen.

I sat down on the stairs, waiting to see the infamous candles we kept around here. We had to be prepare for anything, although usually, they were used repeatedly in a time like this, a planned blackout. In short, we had come to depend on the candles more often than we wanted, but that's just how it was and I refused to voice my concern. I learned what could happen to you, when you tell you parents how to run their house, when my mom popped me in the mouth with the back of her hand. What made me more spiteful towards the situation, was the fact that of all days for the lights to get cut off, it's the night before I have to go to school. Welcome to my shitty life…..

**To which he comes home…..**

Once my mother had found and lit enough candles to make the area visible, I could see the stress taking it's toll on her just by the look on her face; I didn't want to be on the receiving end of her rage when she decided to let her frustration out someone. I got up to go to my room to retreat to safe territory, but I heard the door open as soon as I made it to the top of the stairs and made the mistake of eaves-dropping.

"Where the hell have you been!" Renee yelled, as Charlie stumbled through the door.

"What's it to you?" he asked.

"Do you see anything different? Do you see the candles? My God Charlie you are pathetic. The got damned lights are off. I'm tired of this Charlie, I'm so fucking tired of this, she goes to school tomorrow. Congratulations, you've managed to fuck something else up," she ranted, as tears ran down her face.

"Baby, don't cry I'll win it back, I'll win it back, I'll win it all back" he pleaded, as he plopped face down on the couch. "Besides, she won't needs lights here, she'll have electricity in her dorm," he called out, as my mom ran upstairs pass me, slamming the door to their room.

It was obvious he had a little too much to drink, but I knew the tell-tale signs of '_broke'_ when I saw it. I had been seeing it for as long as I could remember. I don't know exactly how much he lost, but it must've been quite a bit, for him to come home so smashed. In that moment I almost resented him, the carelessness he had surrounding him was thick and noticeable. He didn't seem care that the utilities were being cut off one by one. I guess that's the definition of an addict. Totally obsessed and unable to let go, it's just sad I'm part of the family who has to suffer because of him…

I scoffed, if only the police department knew what went down behind closed doors…

**On the Road again…..4:00am Saturday morning.**

After a quick phone call to my dad's old friend Billy about my truck, he assured me he would have my truck fixed by the end of the week. We planned for him to drive my truck to campus for me on next Friday evening and he'd catch a ride back home with his son. I made a call to Angela, letting her know we were leaving, she was going to leave a little bit later, but I wanted to make it there on time, of course that wasn't my only motivation. The promise of continuous lights, gas and water were too good to pass up.

"You ready to go?" Renee asked, as she packed the last of my things in the back of the truck.

"As I'll ever be," I said, as I strapped myself into the passenger seat of her, F150. Charlie was knocked out, sleeping, but I doubt with the massive headache he'd have in the morning, he wouldn't be up to riding or driving anyways.

"Good," she said, as she started the truck, backed out of the driveway, and drove towards my new of the road a few hours later

We were a few miles away from the University, and I was already hugging the passenger door to get away from Renee. The first hour of the trip was bearable until she started talking to me. I even put my Ipod headphones in my ears to discourage her but it didn't work. When the topic of my weight came up, we both ended up pissing each other off, and stopped speaking for the rest of the trip.

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**Flashback,**

"_You know Isabella, you'd look so much better a few sizes smaller," she said, with a slight smirk on her face. "A young girl as pretty as you, is such a waste when she's so big."_

"_You know Mom, you'd be a much better mother if you focused more on the fact your only child is going to college and not the size of my jeans," I spat…. _

_End flashback..._

I knew the conversation bothered her, especially the way she pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the road as we came up campus. We drove around the bend, as traffic moved quite fast. That was the perks of being somewhere early.

She parked in the housing parking lot of Shade Hallas I walked in to check myself in.

The lobby was a nice size medium sized room, with cream colored tile, and blue plastic love seats with wooden accents on the frames. There was a large, big screen TV, facing towards the entrances. It was warm, and I couldn't help but feel welcomed by the signs and greetings, welcoming the freshmen to their first year.

I walked into the small office, I was met by a small, pale skinned woman, named Mrs. Cope, who had whitish-bluish hair, and the oldest pair of grandma glasses linked to a chain, I had ever seen. I smiled at her and gave her my name, as she handed me my paper work to check into the dorm. Once I was done, she handed me my I.D. back, as well as my room and closet keys. I grabbed the sign up clip board for a large cart, and pushed the heavy metal noise maker towards the spot where my mom's car had actually backed out of the parking spot.

When I made it to the curb, I saw she had put all my things out on the side walk, in front of a small group of guys, who were watching the scene with rapt attention, but I didn't care to much about being humiliated. I wanted to find out what the hell was her problem.

"What are you doing?" I screamed at her, as the car came to a halt.

"If you were a smart daughter, you'd figure out how to bring your own shit to your room," she spat as pressed the gas and sped off.

My mouth had dropped and I watched her peel out of the parking lot. I didn't even register that someone was talking to me at that point; I was still trying to get over the fact that my mom had just fucked over me.

"You okay darlin'," a blonde guy said, with a thick accent, as he shook my shoulders gently.

I focused on him and in that instant, my eyes watered and tears began to fall down my face from embarrassment.

"Oh no, don't cry," he said, as he pulled me into a tight hug. " My father did that to me my first year, except it was worse. He just threw all my bags out the truck and left without saying anything," he laughed, as I continued to sniff.

We only stood there for a second, until we both realized that we were hugging a complete stranger.

"You know, it would be nice to know your name, if we're going to be this intimate," he joked, as I slapped his chest playfully.

I pulled away from him and stuck my hand out.

"Bella, Bella Swan." He shook my hand with a grin, and tipped his baseball hat, as he greeted me.

"Jasper. Jasper Hale….."

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Anyways,

**Thanks for reading =)**

**Contact us on twitter Karebear8706 **

**Wanna see banners? My rant? possible ramblings about my stories and all that other shit ppl like to know, add me on facebook Thaigherlillie**


	4. Somewhere I'm placed

**KK sorry it's been so long. I didn't really like this chapter, but let's see if you do. Thanks to my 2 extra pairs of eyes, you know who you are.**

**Derogatory terms used.**

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Chapter title: Somewhere I'm placed.

**Bella's P.O.V **

After our awkward introduction, Jasper had offered to help me bring my things up to my apartment, but of course, I declined. It wasn't that I didn't want his help, it was more based on the fact that I was embarrassed, and ashamed that what transpired between my mother and I, had happened in front of so many people. Even though Jasper didn't think it was funny, the snickers and whispers from the other guys, told me they thought otherwise. At this point, I just wanted to be left alone and forget that this even happened, but of course, Jasper had other ideas.

Before I could protest, Jasper had grabbed some of my luggage and looked at me expectantly.

" Well, let's get these bags to your apartment! There's no use to just standing out here Ms. Bella," he said in a thick southern accent as a sly grin spread across the left side of his face.

"Do southerner's respect a person's personal bubble? You just about burst mine Jasper." I snarked, as the dimples in his cheek deepended from the wide smirk on his face.

"What can I say? I wouldn't be a gentleman if I let you haul these anvils up those stairs," he said, as he nodded his head towards the granite stairs on the outside of the building.

My eyes widen. "Where the hell is the elevator?"

"You're using it to walk," he snickered, as he eyed my legs.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes! Come on let's get a move on girl and get your things off the ground."

I let out a sigh, and picked up the rest of my things when I heard someone call out to us.

"Hey put those down!" a voice shouted, as I dropped my bags in pure panic. My eyes were scanning the area for danger when I saw a tall, lightly tanned guy running towards us from the group.

He had long, jet black hair that was tied in a ponytail that swished from side to side as he ran. His body was definitely tone, and muscular, like a well-trained athlete. He had on a fitted, black tee, and a pair of dark wash jeans along with dark high-topped converse sneakers. His huge biceps twitched with each swing of his arm and I could see the muscles in his firm shoulders tense from the movement. His face was a bit round like a child, but he was still cute nonetheless. Cute described his face, but there was no word in the oxford dictionary that could describe the perfection that was his body. I grew a little self-conscious as I took him all in. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect white teeth: way to knock a girl down….

As he came closer, I noticed his eyes were a very pretty shade of the weirdest light greenish-brown color I had ever seen, that were framed by thick manicured eyebrows.… Manicured eyebrows? Oh no… It's always the good-looking ones.

"_What a waste," _I thought, as he made his way to us.

"Hey! I'm Jake," he said, as he bent over hugging his knees trying to catch his breath.

"Bella," I said shyly, averting my eyes from his.

He stood up to his full height, which I guessed was at about 6ft2, and eyed Jasper hesitantly. It threw me off a bit when I looked at Jasper, because I noticed he had a harsh scowl on his face directed towards Jake. I started to ask Jasper what was wrong, but in a flash of a second Jake had hauled up all the luggage I had dropped from off of the ground, into his arms, and was waiting for instructions, not from me, but from Jasper.

"What is he your lap dog?" I asked quietly, as we headed towards the stairs, with a struggling Jake behind us.

"Something like that," Jasper said distractedly, but I still noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes.

I could see he didn't want to tell me any details so I kept any further questions to myself not wanting to run off a possible friend by annoying them. Jasper seemed like a nice enough person, but I wasn't putting any trust in him yet. He couldn't even tell me why Jake, who was struggling to come up the stairs, all of a sudden volunteered to help me as if he were ordered too. I'd have to watch them both a bit carefully, because something really seemed off about those two.

When we reach the mauve apartment door of 8706, I pulled out my white key card and slide it in the metal slot like you would do in a hotel. When the green light beeped, I pushed down on the silver handle and opened the door to let Jasper and Jake in.

"Hey Bella, which apartment is yours, A or B?" Jasper called out.

" It's B! Here's the key," I shouted, as I tossed the keys up to him.

He caught them, opened the door, and directed Jake to place my things outside of the door.

I noticed Jasper take a few steps in but for some reason I didn't mind. He had this ease about him. He was just comfortable to be around, and that's a weird feeling to have about a person when we had just met mere minutes ago.

I surveyed the area of the on campus apartment. It wasn't large, but it wasn't too small either. It was an open floor plan, so the kitchen and the living room were connected together. The wooden cabinets aligned the wall in an L-shape stopping right on the side of the refrigerator, with only a small margin of space separating them. The upper-wall cabinets took the same layout and housed a white microwave right above the stove. The stove was basic and white, albeit a little on the dirty side. There were a few dishes in the wide silver sink and I looked away trying my best not to think about the mess. When I turned to the living room, I saw the neutral grey colored couch and love seat as well as a cushioned chair to match. The floor was a tanned colored tile with a wide tanned rug in the middle of the area. There was a light brown coffee table with one small drawer on each side with fashion magazines sitting on the corner of the table messily. The large window in the living room faced the middle parking lot and was shaded with dusty white blinds. I had a feeling I was going to need a little bit of Lysol.

"No, I believe your going to need a whole lot of it," Jasper yelled, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I said that out loud?" I asked, as I turned my head in their direction.

"Yep, but I'm serious. You're going to need a lot of it," he deadpanned.

I walked briskly to my room to find both of them at each end of the turned over frame of my bed, trying to raise the bed higher, with the mattress on the floor.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, until I took one-step in the room. I froze as I stared at the disgusting dried up piece of black rubber on the ground.

"Is that what I think it is?

"Yup," they said in unison.

"Well I'm not touching it."

"Neither am I," they said again, as we all fell out laughing.

"Where did this come from?"

"I knew you would want some extra space under your bed, so I told Jake to help me raise it up. When we flipped over the mattress, that piece of shit fell on the floor," he grimaced.

"Do you have Lysol?" Jasper asked.

"No, not at all. I don't know how I'm going to get anything. My mom just…" I trailed off, as I felt the anger boil up within me. At the time when she left, I didn't think about the long term effects of her leaving me stranded. There were still things I needed to do and get and she bailed on me. I had no cleaning supplies: no bed covers, no plastic covers, no bed risers, and no groceries. I had the essentials that Angela and I had gotten, but there were still some things that I needed. I was planning on Rene taking me to Wal-Mart, but I guess that idea went of out the window when she sped off like a bat out of hell.

"Hmmm, well I don't have anything to do today. I'm free and I can take you if you want. If you're comfortable with riding to the store with me." He grinned.

"What! Jasper if you wanted to hurt me, I'm sure you would've done it sooner. I'd be thankful if you could take me," I said to him, as a wide smile spread across my face.

"Well get your purse and lets go now, might as well unpack your things when you get back," he informed me, as he gestured for Jake to leave the room while he headed to the door.

When they walked out, I heard someone stumbled, something fall, and Jake curses.

"Fuck!"

"Did I break…Oh no it just po-" he stopped.

"Ok let me just grab my ba-" I rushed out, but was stopped mid sentence when I saw what they were staring at. Jake had tripped over one of the older suitcases and the money I had stashed in there was on display at their feet. I was nervous, shocked, and angry all at the same time. My first instinct was to push them out of my way and gather up my money, but I did not. You may think I'm out of my mind, but it was just something about the way they reacted to it. They didn't seem over eager, or extra curious. If I had to pick a word for how they looked, 'suspicious' would be the golden ticket. I didn't know how to handle the situation, but whether they reacted well or not, I just didn't want my money sitting there out in the open in front of two people that I really didn't know. I hurried to the floor as quickly as I could, and bagged up my money while avoiding eye contact with them as the tension rose up between us like a thick cloud.

"Why do you have rolls of money in a suitcase? Are you some kind of drug dealer?" Jasper asked in disgust.

"What? No! I've been saving that money. I promise. I just don't have a bank account," I retorted, a little peeved that he'd jump to that conclusion.

"That looks like a lot of money, if it were earned honestly it would be in the bank," he said icily.

"Jasper," Jake said exhaustedly.

"What did you call me?" Jasper said, looking at Jake with pure hatred.

"Sorry sir," Jake told him, as he held his head down.

I couldn't contain my anger as I saw how he treated Jake, and he had been nothing but nice to me.

"Why are you talking to him like that?" I yelled at Jasper, as he looked at me in utter surprise.

We all stood in limbo for a few minutes before Jasper opened and closed his mouth a few times before uttering a few words.

"How bout we exchange stories on the way to the bank. Traffic is light and we can kill two birds with one stone. Shopping and placing that money somewhere safe," he said gently.

"I'm sorry if I offended you Bella, put yourself in my shoes…" he said, as he apologized again.

I eyed him warily for a moment when Jake squeezed my arm lightly as I put the money away. I looked up to see him smiling at me softly as he gave a slight nod.

"I don't know Jasper, won't I need a parent?"

"No, you'll need at least three forms of identification and the money. I won't leave you there stranded Bella. That's a hell of a lot of money to be carrying around like that and you need to put it somewhere safe. What if your roommate finds it? You don't even know who she is yet. There's no telling if she's trustworthy or not. Come put it in the bank. I have no problem taking you there."

I took a deep breath, nodded my head grabbed the bag, my purse, and the key card I set down on the end table, as we made our way out. I didn't know exactly what to tell Jasper seeing as I just met him, but I decided to give him the same" I just saved up" speech I gave to Angela, so I could see why he speaks and looks at Jake in that way as if he's beneath him. It's a contrast to the side Jasper has shown me. He's nice, compassionate, maybe even trusting, but with Jake, he's rude, aggressive, authoritive, and almost cruel. For some reason, I have a feeling whatever was going on between them was way above my comprehension…

**Leaving the bank…**

The drive to the bank was less tense, and I was able to explain how I saved my money to the guys. Jasper apologized for his assumptions all the way to the bank teller. We had finished up in about close to an hour and we still had some shopping to do. I had a small scowl on my face for the two assholes that were laughing at my expense as we walked outside of the bank. When the banker found out how much cash I was carrying on me, he gave me the third degree. Both Jake and Jasper couldn't have been more entertained. Bastards….

"I told you it wouldn't be that bad," Jasper said, as he elbowed me in the arm jokingly, while we headed back towards his car.

"Ha! Bella was sweating like a whore in the church house when he asked her where she got all

the money from," Jake howled, as he doubled over laughing until tears came in his eyes.

Jasper shot him a warning look and before he could compose his face I had outted him.

"I explained my money situation to you. You care to tell me what's going on between you two?" I said, gesturing towards the both of them with two of my fingers.

Jasper looked towards the ground as if contemplating and slipped in the driver's seat of his red Dodge Charger. It was a nice car, a very nice car, but it was too husky, too plasticky. Not my idea of what a classic car should be.

I slipped into the front seat, and buckled my set belt as Jake did the same in the back. Jasper started the car, drove out of the parking lot, and headed towards WAL-mart. Buildings and trees whipped past us as Jasper turned the radio down, finally opening his mouth to speak.

"Well I don't know how much you know about fraternities and sororities, but I'm apart of one of the bigger frats on campus. Psi Omega Chi. I'm a Parrian. Our chapter has French foundations and usually the protector of his brother is called a parrian or in other words Godfather. Jake is a pre-pledge. A pre-pledge is a guy or girl, who received a bid from an official in the frat, or sister sorority. Our frat chooses thirty-six guys a line per semester. Thirty-four of them are pre-pledges and go through pre-initiation. There's a lot of things I can't tell you, but just know, that I am Jake's parrian. He does what I do, what I tell him to do, when I tell him to do it and how I want him to do it. If he doesn't do it, he loses the bid. It may sound stupid to you, but being apart of a frat has plenty of benefits. Unfortunately, getting to the part where you can enjoy them isn't easy. Not only does he have to listen to me, but he has to listen to the upper heads as well and it can be hard on a person. We have certain things that are acquired by the pre-pledges to act upon: calling us sir, respecting us, and ultimate loyalty. It can fun, and it can be testing, but you do what you have to do in order to cross. Our father's father and our great grand fathers were apart of this organization. It is a legacy in most of our families including Jake's. All of us did what we had to do to achieve what our fathers did. We crossed. We made our families proud and that is the same reason Jake is here. To make his father proud," Jasper, said, with a smug smile on his face.

I sat there slacked jawed. I didn't know what to say to any of that. I truly wasn't expecting that as his reason to treat Jake like a piece of shit. By the time I got myself together Jake leaned over and popped the bottom of my chin with the tips of his fingers effectively closing my mouth.

"Sorry, didn't want you to catch any flies." He laughed, as he sat back putting his arms behind his head, cocking his eyebrow at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him and sat back in my seat.

"Nothing to say? No questions?" Jasper asked.

"Just one."

"Well?"

"Why is he a jerk?" I said, gesturing with my thumb to Jake.

Jasper laughed. "Just blame the person whose ball sac he swam out of," he snickered, when we pulled into the parking lot of Wal-mart.

"You mind if we rush this? I want to grab a bite to eat from the café on the way back," Jasper asked as Jake's eyes widened.

"No problem I can be quick," I said, after he parked the car. "It won't take long at all."…..

**Mixed Messages…**

In the matter of thirty minutes, I managed to get: Lysol anti bacterial wipes, a Swifter sweeper, pail, mop and broom, sponges, bathroom cleaners, and a few groceries to tide me over until my next trip. Jasper gave me his cell phone number when we went down the bread aisle and let me know that he was planning a trip to different stores next week. He was adamant that he didn't have a problem if I wanted to tag along. I told him I'd think about it. I knew he was just being nice but I didn't want him to think I was needy or clingy. I would only call him if it were an emergency, if even that.

While I had fun getting to know Jasper, I noticed that Jake had become distant. Whenever Jasper mentions the café, I saw him cringe a couple of times, as if it hurt him to think about it. I knew something was going on, but Jake didn't stay close enough to us for me to ask. Plus, whatever it was that was going on with him, he obviously didn't want Jasper to know and I didn't want to bring any attention to him. So as Jasper and I went from aisle to aisle only picking up the essential, Jake trailed behind us with his attention fully on the purple phone in his hand.

His eyes furrowed and his face was livid. Somebody pissed him off, but I just turned around and ignored it so Jasper wouldn't get a whiff of the tension flowing through Jake.

When we passed through the check out line, Jasper's stomach growled loudly, as he rubbed his belly.

"I can't wait to grab a plate from the café," he said.

"Do we have to go sir? Didn't you guys buy food already?" Jake asked.

"Does he have to address you like that _sir,"_ I said, earning one amused look, and one annoyed one.

"Yes to both questions, now hurry up I gotta feed the monster within," Jasper retorted, as he speedily rung up all my items in the self-service lane.

Once I had paid and he was done with his own purchases, I noticed that Jake's face paled every time his phone chirped. He even walked away from us at one point to go sit on the wooden bench near the door of the store where all the children toys slot stood. When we gathered our purchases and headed to the car, Jake started to beg Jasper not to go.

"Please sir, can't we just go to McDonalds' or something?"

"No Jake, I just got through paying for food and I want a hot meal. You'll be ok. The Frat won't mess with you, while I'm there," he said, as he loaded up the last bag in the trunk.

"And besides we won't be staying there, we can grab to-go plates and leave right out, since you're that uncomfortable with going."

I left them to their bickering and hopped in the passenger seat. Jake was off and Jasper was clueless, I had a feeling something was about to go wrong, but the only thing I could do was at least keep a close eye on Jake. He was uncomfortable and skittish and for some reason Jasper just ignored it, but I couldn't.

When they got in the car I shot Jake a small smile and he gave me a tight one. The entire trip back to campus was quiet besides the music that was playing. When we pulled into the small parking lot of the campus café known to us as Augustberry hall, Jake jumped out the car before Jasper had even stopped and darted to the front door of the cafe. The building was made of dark brick, a weird type of brown wood, and had large floor to ceiling windows that show the café style settings. There were black circular tables and black modern chairs circling all of the tables in fours. The tables by the window sat three, and they sat higher than the normal chairs and tables on ground level.

As Jasper and I walked by, I noticed people of different shapes and sizes, but most of all I notice the florae of brightly colored t-shirts, jackets with numbers, and names. There were pinks and greens, yellows and reds, black and golds, and gold and blues. Every color seemed to represent a specific group and I notice how the attention in the café was more or less on them.

"Those people at those tables are the frats and Greeks of the campus. The numbers on their shirts represents what line they were on. And the names represent their "Line name" or a nickname that we give to the pledges during initiation. Some of these people would do anything to belong Bella. Just remember that," Jasper warned, as we walked through the doors of the café.

I passed my I.D card to the woman sitting at the register, and felt the familiar burning sensation in my back. You know, the same creepy feeling you get when someone is staring at you, this feeling was so overwhelming that I had to sweep my eyes across the tables to see who the hell it was. It only took a minute until I was met with a harsh pair of baby blues. I flinched at how severe she looked at me. I didn't even know her. I got a good look at her when I removed my gaze from hers. She was very small, with short, black, spiky, over done hair. I wish I could tell you how her face looked, but it was twisted up in a very unflattering sneer. It was a look that was obviously meant for me, and only me. She stared hard and I stared back, unwilling to be bullied by a look from a bitch I didn't even know. Suddenly there was a loud crash and Jasper's hand moved me out of the way by my shoulder before I could see what was going on.

When I adjusted myself, I saw someone had dropped their tray not too far from me, at the feet of a woman with huge feet, stuffed in pink and yellow pumps.

Her legs were thick, hairy and masculine. I started from her feet on up, when my eyes reached her dress; I gasped. There was a huge bulge between her legs and the blue sequenced dress was too tight to hold in her muscles, it was literally splitting at her hips. When my eyes reached her arms and chest there was a shit ton of chest hair and I notice there were oranges sticking out from the tops of her dress were her breast was supposed to be. When I reach her face, I couldn't help but swear.

"Oh my God…." I trailed off, as Jake stood before me with thick pink eye shadow, fake lashes, and a long black wig on. He carried a microphone and looked scared to death.

He looked at me and had a painful look in his eyes before he turned away and music blared in the café.

When "Milkshake" began to play, my eyes bulged out of my head when Jake began to sashay and twist his hips while lip-syncing the song.

When he turned around and dropped to the floor shaking his ass, my stomach dropped. There were assholes (literally) cut out of the back of his dress with a sign taped 'ass pirate' to his back. The café erupted into laugher and I narrowed my eyes when I saw a girl, with long blonde hair, flick it over her shoulder and mouth something towards Jake. I returned my gaze to Jake and was appalled that he was rubbing on the back of some guy's neck while singing in his ear. The guy had on a football jersey and was running his hands though his short blonde hair. His face was red and the guys around his table howled with laugher. The humor soon left everyone when Jake was suddenly slammed onto the table. The hall was silent besides the music playing and I knew the officials could see what was going on. A few were already making their way to the scene.

"You think you can fuck with me Faggot? I'm some one you can fuck with?" the guy yelled, as he held Jake to the table by his neck.

"Mike come on let him go," one of his friends pleaded.

"No, they'll learn their lesson with sending these faggots to mess with me. He'll be the messenger."

I looked towards the Greeks only to find they were enjoying the scene. I saw the blonde shake her head slightly, as a large grin covered her flawless face. Jake instantly gave up his struggle. No one. Not even Jasper was trying to help Jake.

Mike's friends were trying to pull him off when they spotted the manager calling for campus police on the radio, but he wouldn't budge.

When he pulled his fist back, I tore myself from Jasper's grasp and lodge myself in between Jake and Mike's fist. When I felt the blunt force of the punch on my shoulder, I stiffened. It hurt like hell, and Jake was yelling my name but I was ok. He was ok. I turned around and looked at the commotion behind me, and saw Mike was stunned and his face was filled with regret. Mike's friends were holding him and another large group were yelling across the café at the Greeks, as one of his friends helped us off the table.

"Are you ok? He didn't mean to hit you, but-"

"I know. I know. Don't worry about it," I said, cutting him off and dragging a shocked Jake behind me.

"Where the fuck are you going faggot?" A shrill, deep voice called out.

We both turned around and saw that the blonde girl from earlier was now sitting on a guy's lap. His hair was bronze and maybe I would've considered him handsome had he not been with her. She seemed to have an ugly personality and I already didn't like her so I already didn't like him. He had piercing green eyes that bounced back from me to Jake, most likely trying to figure out the relationship between Jacob and I, since I had just taken a blow for him.

" I didn't say I was done with you," she called out. Even though there was already shouting and cussing going on, she could be heard loud and clear, though no one paid attention to the exchange but the group she was with and us.

I could see the campus police cruisers arriving in the parking lot from the windows and I tried to pull Jake back so we could go, but Jasper stopped me.

"Bella stop. You don't understand," Jasper called out.

" Understand what? You were supposed to protect him and you didn't!" I shouted.

"You don't know anything bitch," the blonde said, as she walked closer and closer to me as if she was stalking her latest prey. I was surprised she made it that close to me that fast.

I scoffed at her. I never understood why people still tried to use bitch as an insult in 2010. It was unoriginal, old, and had no effect.

"That's the best you can do. Call me a bitch. Is that it? Or can you come up with something else? Can you do it? Can you do it girl? Huh?" I teased, as if she was a dog.

Her nostrils flared and she balled her hands into fist.

"Stay the fuck out of our business."

"It's my business if you hurt him," I retorted, glancing at Jake.

"You heard what I said. What are you deaf? Was it the trans-fat that fucked with your hearing?" she snapped, and I flinched.

"Rosalie!"

"No Jasper, if she wants to get in business that doesn't concern her, she better be ready for the fucking consequences."

"Rose come on," a velvet voice called, as the owner of it wrapped his muscular arms around her waist, placing his chin in the crook of her neck as he planted a kiss or two there. He looked at me with distain and grabbed Rosalie's hand tugging her towards the exit.

She gave me one more look, rolled her eyes, and let his hand go. As she walked towards me, she purposefully bumped into my side and before I could stop myself, I pushed her off me instinctively. Jake grabbed my shoulder when I turned around and shook his head signaling 'no'. She stumbled and stared at me in shock as her boyfriend wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her away from me.

"Fat fucking retard!" she screeched, just as he pulled her out of the door. People were still oblivious to the exchange because of the commotion with Mike and the other set of Greeks. However, it soon quieted down when a loud authoritive voice broke the commotion.

"Shut up! I want to know what happened here and what happened now!"….

* * *

**I'm really not liking this chapter, you probably won't either. But i promise the next chapter will be better. Reviews make me smile**

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**I know Rose isn't starting off as bad as she did last time, but she'll get worse as the story goes along. It's a slow burn. a nice good slow burn. I don't need to rush as long as you guys enjoy the ride to the finish line.**


	5. All ABout Losh!

To Help A Boy

Close your eyes.

No, seriously close your eyes.

Now take a deep breath and keep them closed.

I want you to picture yourself, wait. Keep them closed, I'm not finished.

I want you to picture yourself pregnant, round with child and incredibly happy about your little one coming into the world.

I want you to picture being excited for the birth, smiling, grinning and overjoyed for the healthy baby moving inside you.

Now I want you to imagine giving what you thought to be a healthy birth, only to find out there is complications.

Complications.

It's a word many families dread, fear, and despise when it comes to the health of newborn infants and small children alike.

So many things in this world that can complicate a little ones health, but with today's technology, we have the opportunity to save millions of lives.

However, with everything there comes a price and I'm asking you to open your heart and mind to the story of a young boy who was brought to my attention by chance, from a tweet on my twitter page.

~*About Aloshua~*

On May 18, 2005, Aloshua (Losh) was born three and a half months premature. His family had been through a premature birth before and thought they were prepared for the battle to come, but the simple truth is that you just can't prepare for a special child like Aloshua.

Aloshua's first hours of life were so critical that it was nearly twelve hours later before anyone on his neonatal team noticed the open hole in his back. When his family arrived in the neonatal intensive care unit to visit Aloshua the morning after his birth, they learned that he had spina bifida, needed an oscillator to keep him breathing, and would need to be transferred to Arkansas Children's Hospital for surgery as soon as he was stable enough to come off of the oscillator.

By the time he was two days old, they'd learned that he had an Arnold Chiari Malformation (ACM), severe lung problems, a genetic defect, and a hole in his heart. At only four days old, he had his first surgery to repair the open hole in his back from spina bifida.

Within days of his first surgery, the fluid build up in his lungs was reaching critical levels. His head was growing so large from hydrocephalus that doctors were desperate to get him into surgery to place a shunt. They started an entirely new round of drugs to address the fluid build-up and he underwent his second surgery (to place the shunt) before he was a month old.

Three months later, Aloshua was allowed to go home for the first time since he was born. By November, however, his family and medical team began to grow concerned over his weight. He ate three times what a baby twice his age ate, and continued to lose weight rapidly. He was hospitalized again, and the family received more bad news.

.Aloshua's intestines and appendix were on the wrong side of his body. He had hernias and a hole in his diaphragm. He needed another surgery to repair the hernias and shift his intestines and remove his appendix. So, he had another surgery. And then another. And another. And another.

A few short months later, Aloshua became seriously ill and was rushed back to the hospital. Somehow, MRSA had gotten into his shunt and caused a serious staph infection. He was rushed into surgery to remove the shunt and place a temporary drain tube. Over the next weeks, he dropped back down to eight pounds while his medical team worked to rid him of the infection so the shunt could be replaced.

While in recovery from the shunt replacement, he coded again. He spent days in a medically induced coma in intensive care, fighting off pneumonia that seemed to have developed overnight. He was so swollen during those days that he didn't even look like the same baby who'd been so tiny just days before. Despite the setbacks, he pulled through it as he always did and got to go home again.

But he'd stopped growing once again.

At a year old, it was evident that his medical team could risk waiting for him to grow no longer. He weighed only twelve pounds and was eating 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via G-Tube. He could not lift his head, sit up or hold his own pacifier. He had these huge, serious eyes and this tiny little body. He'd already had a shunt, two revisions, a G-Tube, was on oxygen 24/7, and was in and out of the hospital for lung problems weekly, but it was far from over for him.

He was fitted with a trach shortly after his first birthday and coded once again. A blood clot had developed in his trachea from surgery and cut off his oxygen supply. Another emergency surgery later, he was once again stabilized, but there was more bad news to come. The doctors were no longer confident that he could handle breathing on his own. He would need to be on a ventilator 24/7, possibly for years.

For five months, his mom (Courtney) and brother (Kaia) lived at the hospital, waiting for Losh to grow big enough to go home once more. During those months, entire lives reordered.

His brother was taken out of daycare because the infection risk to Aloshua was too great. His family temporarily relocated from their hometown to an apartment near the hospital in Little Rock. What had once been his nursery was transformed into an at-home intensive care unit.

When he finally got to go home again, he came with more medical equipment than anyone knew what to do with: A ventilator. 2 suction machines. Oxygen. An IPV machine. A feeding machine. A pulse-oximeter. Trachs. A stander. A walker. Leg braces.

A brown paper grocery bag of medication. Boxes of urine catheters, of suction catheters, of trach ties, special soaps, drain sponges, expensive formulas and blenderized foods, feeding bags, syringes...Ventilator, Pulse-Oximeter & Oxygen

It was never a hardship for his mom though, and, with the help of family and friends, she's managing to give Aloshua the normal childhood he so desperately deserves.

His journey is far from over though. He is six years old now and only recently learned to pull up on furniture without help and to walk with the aid of braces and a walker.

He's had nineteen different surgeries, has speech, occupational and physical therapy four days a week and weighs only thirty-two pounds. Part of his diaphragm is paralyzed, his lungs are damaged, and his doctors are concerned about the health of his kidneys.

He's been in and out of the hospital since birth, is tube fed, and requires the use of a portable ventilator each night. His immune system is compromised, he has to wear a face mask when out in public, and he only recently began to talk.

Despite all he has endured, Losh is the happiest, most intelligent child you will ever meet. He has a ready smile, an easy laugh, and greets each day with the spirit of a champion. When he pushes himself through the store in his little wheelchair, everyone he comes across stops to speak with him and leaves with a smile on their faces.

~*About Losh~*

So here we are as a fandom, once again asked to help one of our own. I put myself in the mindframe of if this was my child…

So it is with a pure heart, I come to you all asking for you to help in any way you can to help lighten some of the burden this family has had with medical expenses and equipment for Losh. Their family is one of fandom and we aren't anything if we can't help ourselves. Let's do what we can to help this sweet little boy receive the care he needs.

**What is needed for Losh:**

**In addition to the intensive treatments these children require every day, often for their entire lives, these children often require in-home nursing care, and are faced with inadequate insurance guidelines, a lack of adequate medical treatment, and a lack of necessary resources. **

**In our state, for instance, there is only one hospital that is equipped to deal with a kid like Aloshua: Arkansas Children's Hospital. Families with children like him are faced with long trips to the hospital, (sometimes as much as five and six hour long trips) for doctors appointments and check-ups. Because medical personnel at local hospitals are not trained to deal with these children, do not have the equipment to treat these children, and often are too afraid to even attempt basic stablization, a medical emergency for these children can be a death sentence.**

**Inadequate insurance guidelines leave these children and their families footing the bill for life-saving medical expenses that are by no means easily covered. Aloshua's first two days of life came with an $80,000.00 hospital bill. His first year of life came with a nearly $1 million dollar bill. When doctors appointments, therapy and hospitalizations are excluded, his medical expenses every month total as much as $15,000.00. And he is not the only child with similar expenses. In Arkansas, there are nearly 400 patients like Aloshua who face these same expenses and obstacles every day.**

**Many of these families have joined together to help one another out by collecting the supplies that insurance companies do not pay for and distributing them to one another. For instance, insurance may only pay for one trach every six months in Arkansas and an unlimited supply of suction caths, but insurance in Nebraska may provide 1 trach every month and only 30 suction caths. So these families work together and send one another excess supplies to help alleviate the costs left behind by inadequate insurance guidelines. It reduces some of the burden, but these families are still left with thousands of dollars in expenses. **

**And that is why we're here today. Aloshua's mom is facing nearly $20,000.00 in necessary expenses at the moment and needs our help to ease that burden and ensure that Losh is able to receive the treatment he needs until his doctors can get through the red-tape and get his insurance provider to pick up the tab. In that vein, we've started a Team Losh Fund to help her raise the funds to cover those expenses between now and January 15th, 2012. **

**So what are they raising money for and how much?**

**$9,000.00 for a two month supply of Tobi, an inhalation antibiotic used to treat a potentially fatal pseudomona infection in his lungs.**

**$5,609.19 for an IPV (intrapulmonary percussive ventilation) system used to deliver inhalation medication directly to his lungs and break up mucus to keep his airways clear.**

**$3,500.00 to get Aloshua's van repaired. A rod in the engine has broken and his family is currently living 60 miles from the hospital with no consistent mode of transportation to and from appointments and therapy. **

**It's a lot of money, and unfortunately, it is all necessary to ensure that Aloshua can continue to thrive. **

**~~*What we can Do!~~***

**Unfortunately, The family simply cannot come up with $18,000.00 at the moment, and Aloshua is wait-listed for the programs that will help cover these expenses (such as the Medicaid Waiver program). His medical team is trying to get patient assistance approved for the Tobi, but at this point, it doesn't look like they will be successful before his next cycle begins. So They are turning to all of us for help. **

**They are not asking for something for nothing. Those who donate are given something back, so they will be delivering a fandom compilation to donors, selling Team Losh gear, and raffling off prizes to donors as well. **

**If you would like to sign up to write a story for the compilation, to donate a prize, to design an item for the store, or to help in any other way, you will find the information you need on here on the blog. You will also find information about Aloshua and, as the fundraiser progresses, ways you can advocate for and help other children like him. **

**~*Where I come In~~***

**I will not only be donating. But I will Be donating graphic designs for the merchandise I believe and will be writing for the Compilation. **

**Where you come in on my part-**

**I'm undecided on what to write. So I'm turning to you. Would you like an Outtake/Futuretake of this story or something new?**

**With Cambion:(Futuretake)- Edward and the nudger years after The birth. It won't hurt the story to read this. **

**Not so Average- (Futuretake)- 20 years after the prologue (again. Won't hurt the story.)**

**Living Amongst Hell- (Outttake)- ( The birth of A princess. (New characters birth and purpose.) Will not be in Living amongst hell at all. **

**Halloween and other meaningless tales. (One shot)-Something new. **

**Ghost.-Renessmee has to trace her family tree, although she finds her family quite boring she takes on the task by starting with the graveyard. She takes pictures of the grave stones and names, while using her trusty notepad to write down dates and inscriptions. As the evening comes, she relaxes with a healthy apple, leaning against a headstone when her imagination runs wild. What she'll discover there will not only be a gift, but a glimpse into a previous life lost. Rated G Fantasy Romance.**

**If there is something else you would rather have me write., please leave a review or email me through the site. **

**Thank you all for reading and don't forget to visit this blog to donate. More and more authors are signing up and if you can don't contribute your writing skills! It's for a very great cause. **

**Here is the link to the blog, Hope you all have a great day! VIST THE BLOG AT **teamlosh . blogspot . com Just remove the spaces when you put it in your browser.

*Hugs and kisses to you all*

To those of you the email, face book, twitter, and gchat me with encourage for writing and school I love you all the most and I'll try to update as soon as I figure out what to write for this compilation.


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